A new kind of challenge

When the year began, my mind was set out to achieve a number of goals. I however didn’t set my eyes on the challenge I am experiencing now. I was optimistic about the year that lay ahead. I am always optimistic and look forward to any new year with great hope – just like everyone else. Ten months down the line, I have achieved a number of my setout goals. As a PhD student, I completed my course work in July, 2018. I  won a research grant in February. I began doing part-time teaching at various local universities in Nairobi. In the months of May and June, two journal articles I co-authored were published. Everything seemed to be going well for me. In August, the editor of the book volume in which I had contributed a chapter wrote to me. The final manuscript was out and I needed to have final look before going to print. In the first week of September, I received an author’s copy of the book. 

Amid this great academic success, my personal life was not that great. It was actually unraveling. It is not something that I am going to speak about today. The great accolades and achievements on the academic side meant nothing amidst this life challenge. The smile that I always exuded has faded. Nothing seems normal again. I try and look at the positive side of things. But am reminded of what happened. It is hard. Very hard. I take courage and get encouraged by my close friends. This one friend has been very helpful. A shoulder to cry on and always a call a way. I am grateful for the friendship. As I look forward to the close of the year, am reminded to be thankful of what I have. The joy that comes from being alive and healthy. As a Christian man, I hold to God’s unending love. His mercies endure forever. I know all things work for good to them that love God – because I am called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

As I await the PhD Comprehensive Exams in the first week of November, I believe things will have turned around. I now prepare for the exams with anxiety – but with hope. It shall be well. In the fullness of time, there will be a renewal and restoration. It is always the darkest just before the day dawneth.  

What a Good Prayer!

Universal Prayer
Post-communion Group  

Lord, I believe in You: 
but let me believe more strongly. 
I love You: but let me love You more ardently. 
I sorrow, but deepen my sorrow for my sins. 

I adore You as my first beginning, 
I long for You as my last end, 
I praise You as my constant benefactor, 
I call on You as my loving protector.

Guide me by Your wisdom,
hold me with Your justice,
comfort me with Your mercy, 
protect me with Your power.

I offer You, Lord, my thoughts, 
my words, to be fixed on You, 
my actions, to be according to You, 
my sufferings and to be endured for You.

I want to do what You want, 
in the way You want, 
for as long as You want, 
because You want.

I pray, O Lord, enlighten my understanding, 
inflame my will, 
purify my heart, and sanctify my soul.

May I weep for my former iniquities, 
repel future temptations, 
correct my faults, 
and cultivate suitable virtues.

Grant me, O God, love of You, 
hatred of myself, 
zeal for my neighbor, 
and contempt for the world.

May I be eager to obey my superiors, 
be courteous to my inferiors, 
faithful to my friends, 
and to forgive my enemies.

Help me to conquer sensuality with austerity,
greed with generosity, 
anger with gentleness, 
apathy with fervor.

Make me prudent in planning, 
steadfast in danger, 
patient in adversity,
and humble in prosperity.

O Lord, make me attentive in prayer, 
temperate in drink, 
diligent in my duties,
and firm in purpose.

May I take care to have an innocent interior, 
a modest exterior, 
exemplary speech,
and a well and ordered life .

May I be ever-watchful in guarding against my weaknesses, 
cherishing Your grace, 
keeping Your laws,
and coming to salvation.

May I learn from You the passing nature of this world, 
the grandness of heaven, 
the shortness of this life,
and the life to come eternal.

Grant that I may prepare for death, 
fear judgment, 
flee from Hell, 
and obtain paradise.
Grant this though Christ our Lord. Amen.